“I got the call today I didn't want to hear, but I knew that it would come.”
Don Henley wrote those words so eloquently in his song “The Heart of the Matter” in the late 1980s. I felt a similar way on Tuesday of this week when I received a message from my brother that one of my lifelong friends, Darren Tietz, was life-flighted to Mayo Clinic Hospital, and that the outlook was not promising.
I gathered myself and reflected for a few minutes. Then I picked up my phone and called Darren, who was diagnosed with cancer eight months ago. His mother answered his phone and told me that Darren passed away about an hour prior. She graciously spent several minutes with me explaining the details of the past 24 hours. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child, at any age. Her saving grace was that she knew her son was no longer in pain.
Darren was told by his doctors late last year that he might have a year to live. He hoped and prayed every day for a miracle. Those hopes and prayers ended on June 22.
I was fortunate to have spent some time with Darren in the past eight months, accompanying him to a few of his treatments at Mayo and talking with him frequently on the phone. We had been good friends since our childhood days in Algona, but I got to know him on a much deeper level in recent months during those early-morning drives. We talked in-depth about religion, politics, family and other topics. We confided with each other about things we had never discussed in the prior 40 or so years that we knew each other.
One of the things that Darren shared with me was how truly difficult it was to tell others that he was dying. He also knew that any conversation about this was equally difficult for the other person. Through it all, he taught me a valuable lesson. Regardless of how difficult the situation is, reach out anyway. It doesn't matter what you say. What only matters is that you say something before it is too late.
Clearly, we have all lost loved ones and wish that we could have had one last conversation with them. And most of us know people who are dealing with life-threatening diseases right now. My hope is that Darren’s message will connect with you and inspire you to reach out to others and open up those challenging conversations. You will be glad you did.
Have a thoughtful Thursday, and thanks for reading.
Shane Goodman
President and Publisher
Big Green Umbrella Media
shane@dmcityview.com
515-953-4822, ext. 305 | 
